2.15.2003

so i went and got my nose pierced.
wooha.
gotta mark places in life . . .
hope my soap gets here soon
heh.
bought a digital webcam, too.
expect fun pictures of crazy times soon. 8)

jernet | 11:24:17 PM| comment

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stop trying to single white female my life
even though you want to you won't be able to get it right
you will never be me and i don't know why you want the used goods
they obviously weren't that great or our relationships would've stood
your social life has to be worse than mine
are you trying to prove something? i'm sorry i don't have the time.
i'm gonna move on and hope i don't encounter you
i'm tired of feeling like this can't really be true
you're so lame you can't think for yourself
get your own man not one i've already sexed.

jernet | 11:23:45 PM| comment

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2.13.2003

i guess all i know is that people suck
i hate growing up.

jernet | 11:58:32 PM| comment

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2.12.2003

The haxor handle of Jeannette is "Speed V@mpyr".

What's yours? Enter your name:

hahaha. what a way to waste time.
i totally have a bio exam tomorrow.

jernet | 1:49:24 AM| comment

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and in the end we all move on
and i go back to smiling.

jernet | 1:41:45 AM| comment

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2.11.2003

mm all i need is some loud j majik
. . . love is not a game

jernet | 12:35:18 PM| comment

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do you go through your day feeling less than the people around you?
do you stare at other people wondering what it's like to be them?
who created insecurity?
why does it run so deep in everyone i meet?
is it because everyone's so busy walking all over everyone else's hearts that when they come back to have some time with their own they realize that it's too neglected to nurse back to health?
people feel their own pain, but they forget that other people are feeling that same pain. you have to deal with it when it's within yourself, and sometimes that leads to the neglect of other people's hearts. it's such an ugly cycle.
i almost thought that i could be invincible with such a strong will, but guess who was right all along about where i put my heart and how i use it? i'll never get that back either.
it's scary - because it's just so real.

jernet | 12:28:33 PM| comment

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2.10.2003

i feel like i should've made a promise to myself long ago that the day that that stupid message board came between me and a friendship with someone else that i should leave.
it's taken on this weird place in my life that's pretty big, but i've always considered it a sort of job and it gets referenced in my resumes. i don't know why it comes between people. i do know why things that are said often don't come across the same way on a message board as they do in real life . . . but i never thought it would come down to what it has.
gonna have to change something cause somehow i've come out of all of this feeling just as shitty as i did before. maybe i should stop running from that thing that's standing right beside me.

jernet | 6:49:05 PM| comment

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2.09.2003

and then she realized they were all alike . . .

jernet | 9:00:23 PM| comment

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i no longer have anyone to run to when i need some comfort
that's all i want is some comfort
someone to comfort me
how selfish
. . . but how much do i actually feel this
empty.

jernet | 8:56:58 PM| comment

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i decided to write a little diddy about myself . . .
i guess i should start out with stating my name *taps on mic* - *turns it off*. i'm jeannette. i was born on october 8 in 1983, or at least that's what i've been told. i'm of pretty average height, and i'm chubby - a little like a cabbage patch kid. i've got real big curly hair . . . it was real short, but i'm growing it back out.
i'm a girl, i guess you could call me a woman, and i'm from raleigh, north carolina. i go to school at wake forest university, and some days i'm not real sure why i chose to come here - but here i am. i have this best friend named emyj, and she's the coolest person i've ever met in my life. who else would laugh with me about absolutely nothing (maybe that guy named DANA, but he has no idea who chadwick the fox is so he's out of the running). clearly i like to laugh more than anything else, and dancing comes in at a close second.
i have all of these ideas in my head, most of them are cynical, but some of them are clever. i make bad jokes and try to finish all my homework. like i said i'm pretty jaded, and i have a lot of anger within me, as well. my life isn't gorgeous, but it's not as ugly as it could be. it would be more helpful if i would get up at 9am and go jogging like originally planned. now i find myself sick and betrayed.
*looks around*
i'm kinda like the mom from that 70's show . . . whenever anything pisses me off i laugh, real loud. so if i'm laughing real loud either emy just said something funny or i'm pissed off.
i'm really loyal to the people that i love or that i have loved in my past. it takes a lot to drive me far enough away from you to not protect your name. however, i'm finding as i'm betrayed more often that my affinity for those people is shrinking.
some people would call me loud, cute, and sometimes smart. maybe. be careful though because i'm not always those things, and when i'm not being those things something's up.

ok. now go somewhere else.
i'm done talking now.

jernet | 8:43:51 PM| comment

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and i still wonder

jernet | 2:23:59 PM| comment

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it's too much to ask to be close to you
it's too much to ask to be close to anyone
commitment isn't that hard
especially when you're young
what more is there to it than laughing and having a little fun?
tell me please why no one can just make up their mind . . .
am i the only one that just doesn't really have the time?
get back to me when you're ready
but i can't promise that i will have waited
you just shouldn't have let me
cause now i feel like everything you said was baited.

. . . i will never get it i suppose
i really did think that i had it this one time
and i just knew that it was going to work
i had never been at so much ease
never gone to so many pains to please
now i know that it won't work out, but maybe next time.

jernet | 3:43:36 AM| comment

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